This month has been hell, this week I was supposed to be 16 weeks, I would have gone to the OB and they would have told me it was a boy. And although we are young, but you could have done more for me when I was pregnant. Regardless of your age, regardless of your thoughts of me, regardless of your relationship status, that was your baby and you never showed an ounce of compassion for him, not once, not even when he was gone.
Remember how I would make you put your hand on my tummy? But you just hated the thought of him existing.
What being left while pregnant taught me
I chose to keep him because I actually loved him. You just left. I invited you to the ultrasounds, you either never responded to my invite or never showed up. I wrote you how many letters? The person I knew would have never disrespected me and push me against a wall knowing I was pregnant.
I could hate you. I could keep that hatred for you deep inside of me, but I am the only one who cares that it exists, and hate would just consume my heart away, so why would I allow you to break me even more. Hating you would just be another way of holding on to you. I needed you to be there, you were always there for me when we were dating. It seriously feels like I lost you because you have become someone unrecognizable.
You broke me, you know what you did to me, you know, you can call me a liar, but you know what you did.
You never explaining why you treated me like this after and before I lost him, do you know what that feels like? Never having an answer to as in why someone treats you like shit? That especially means shit, especially if you call me a hoe the next day.
You were my first and the only person I trusted. Funny huh, how much you screwed me over? But I have enough compassion to say the following, I forgive you, you are human and you deserve a chance to be freed from this. I forgive you for your unforgettable behavior. I forgive you for not being kinder.Who are you to Words, have no place in the world that I resided in with you to describe the absolutely inhumane, sinister, There are limitation of language and Today was possibly one of the saddest day of my life so far.
We saw each other, finally, after Dear Mr.
Dear Levi,Never thought i would ever write you one of these. I want to say thank you. Home Write a letter Letters blog About us. Thousands of letters. New ones every week. Write yours now. The Spotify playlist. Sad songs, catchy songs, songs to get you through a breakup Listen now. We broke up almost a year now and I still think about you all the time. There will be To my ex best friend, I know this is supposed to be to an ex signifigant other, but this When we broke up New on the blog.
May 21, 0. May 6, 2. April 25, 0. Sugar overload.Nearly three whole years have passed since I found myself suddenly single and pregnant with my daughter… Oh, what I have learnt about myself during that time.
In all the years before this experience began nothing taught me more, no life lesson, no flailing through puberty in my teen years, no walking through the halls of high school, not my first heartbreak… nothing. I hit rock bottom and totally and utterly fell to pieces but what I learnt about myself when that happened was the most beautiful lesson I could have imagined.
I began to love the journey I was on and to appreciate it for all that it was and all that it could teach but first I had to trek through the deepest and darkest emotions within the experience, first I had to unpack all the baggage that had somehow appeared seemingly out of nowhere and first I had to get REAL with myself.
I talked it through with friends and family and we all drew blanks, no one else could make sense of it either. Instead, I had to teach myself to move forward without an explanation and without an apology.
That was when I began to shift my focus, consciously moving on from what had happened to what would be happening in just a few short months. I began focusing on the type of mother I wanted to be, planning how I wanted our lives to look, restructuring the vision for my future to be just the two of us.
I still remember the day that I realised that I had about 6 months of pregnancy left, which meant I had 6 months to heal myself to be able to be the best version of myself for my daughter — I quickly grabbed my notebook and began to make a list of all the things I wanted to teach my daughter, things I wanted to do with her, places I wanted to show her, qualities I wanted to instil and values I hoped she would have.
I sat and planned about the type of life I wanted to provide for her, I spent endless hours scribbling down hopes and dreams for our future together… and you know what it did… it shifted my focus from the past and all that had happened to the future and all that would be happening. So often after a break up you think about all the good times, you run those parts through your head, you remember things you did instead of how you felt.
Just shifting your focus from here to there will begin to help you make space for your heart first to heal and then to allow it to open again. This process is a daily practice that takes as much care and consideration as yoga or meditation.
An open letter to the boy who got me pregnant
Some mornings I would wake up not feeling myself, I would notice my thoughts start to run away with me… off to something that was said in the past and I would have to stop dead in that moment. I am at that stage now. I have never been happier in my life, I get to do something I love, I spend my days inspiring other women how to move through hurt or how to reach their full potential in business or life and I am finally at peace again. But I think the important thing is to be constantly striving for that change.
I believe that some people are happy to be numb to it; some people are comfortable in their mediocrity and their safety net — I for one am never going to be that person.
If I want to raise a daughter who is daring, a daughter who is always striving to be the very best version of herself and a daughter who always stops to seek out the lesson then I need to set that example for her.I'm Pregnant and He Left
I now remember what I went through with a smile; I look back on those memories of hitting rock bottom only to draw strength and to remind myself that I can achieve anything I set my heart on.
Leila Stead blogs at Ever The Daringsharing the story of raising her daughter solo by the sea. Follow her on FacebookInstagram and Pinterest. How to raise a global child. What you may not realise about your child's tantrums. QUIZ: What is your family's holiday type? Home Birth. Baby names. Baby care.It still feels a little surreal.
Those five words crushed my world. Until then I was still holding out hope that our marriage would survive, that we would get through this and we would be a big beautiful happy family.
The man I married would never leave his family, would never treat his wife the way you treated me. The man I married would stand up and fight and not abandon me 20 weeks pregnant with 3 other children. But you were no longer the man I married, you will never again be that person. Now when I see you I see a selfish man who threw away a life and a family who would have done anything to keep him.
Then there was the time when you did come back to me, for a brief moment wanting to reconcile and I gave in only to have you again throw it all away a few weeks later because the reality of life with a wife and soon to be four children was all too much.
I had my best friend and our eldest son with me and they were perfect. When you came to the hospital the next day and saw our newborn son I saw you cry like you have never cried before. I have this sudden freedom to do whatever I like with my life. It has taken me a while to see it but, oh my god I have the entire world at my feet. I was always enrolled in a course of some sort. I wanted to know everything about everything and then our life started and I lost sight of that.
I am me. I have a voice. Sometimes it still feels like something that happened to someone else. Yet I have barely thought of you the entire day. We have these 4 amazing children. I have wonderful family and friends and I am beginning to feel happiness.
So as I turn the page on this chapter of my life I just want to say Thank You. Thank You for telling me that you wanted a divorce it really was the best thing you have ever done for me. When my marriage ended I thought my life was over. We had 3 children and another on the way, how could I do this on my own. I found a woman who lost everything and survived, who had her heart shattered but was still able to love, who came Read More Find me on Twitter.
Thank you. Not sure how I missed this in March but I read it today. You so beautifully captured what I feel.My ex-husband and I got pregnant the first time we started trying for a babyand we were thrilled. Looking back, I guess maybe just I was thrilled. But at the time, I genuinely thought that he was happy, too.
When I miscarried at 10 weeks, we were both devastated. My ex-husband even cried about losing the baby to his best friend on a snowboarding trip soon after. Six weeks later though, I was pregnant again. After I peed on the stick and saw those twin blue lines, I ran into our bedroom and told my husband. It escalated into a huge fight where he said that he didn't even think we should be together anymore because I didn't treat him right.
A Letter To My Ex Who Left Me Pregnant With Our 4th Child
It came completely out of left field. If you had asked any of our friends about our marriage at the time, they would have said that he doted on me, and adored me.
He had my name tattooed across his heart! We'd had a brilliant, fun marriage, traveling the world before settling into our careers and starting our grown-up life together.
I was floored by what he said, and I told him that he was crazy. He left for work, but when he came home, the argument continued. I said he should just leave. He went to stay with a friend from work, and over the next few months, he dropped in and out of my life, saying he wasn't sure what he wanted, that he needed space, and that he wasn't happy.
Other times, he'd come to midwife appointments and pretend that he was an active participant in the pregnancy, spending hours at the apartment we used to share, just hanging out as if nothing had changed.
I would still cook meals for him, and I worried for his emotional healtheven packaging up a turkey dinner for him at Christmas. At one point, in front of friends, he even kissed me passionately, getting my hopes up that the relationship could be saved. His behavior was so inconsistent and out of character, nobody in our extended group of friends could understand why he was doing this. I even wondered if he was taking drugs. One day, he left his jacket at our apartment, and I searched his pockets.
I found a note, complete with drawings of heartsfrom a woman telling my husband that she had never felt like this before, that the stars had never shined so bright, and that when she and my husband shared a piece of pie at our favorite restaurant—the one we had always gone to for dessert—she knew their love would be forever. He begged me to forgive him, saying that nothing had happened beyond that one date, that she was obsessed with him.
She was crazy, he said. He only loved me. I agreed to try and repair our marriage and he agreed to go to marriage therapy.It still feels a little surreal. You told me you wanted a divorce in a marriage counselling session. Those five words crushed my world. Until then I was still holding out hope that our marriage would survive, that we would get through this and we would be a big beautiful happy family. The man I married would never leave his family, would never treat his wife the way you treated me.
But you were no longer the man I married, you will never again be that person. Now when I see you I see a selfish man who threw away a life and a family who would have done anything to keep him. Then there was the time when you did come back to me, for a brief moment wanting to reconcile and I gave in only to have you again throw it all away a few weeks later because the reality of life with a wife and soon to be four children was all too much. I had my best friend and our eldest son with me and they were perfect.
When you came to the hospital the next day and saw our newborn son I saw you cry as you have never cried before. Now I feel relief like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders. I have this sudden freedom to do whatever I like with my life.
It has taken me a while to see it but, oh my god I have the entire world at my feet. I was always enrolled in a course of some sort. I wanted to know everything about everything and then our life started and I lost sight of that. I am me. I have a voice. Sometimes it still feels like something that happened to someone else. Yet I have barely thought of you the entire day. We have these 4 amazing children.
I have wonderful family and friends and I am beginning to feel happiness. So as I turn the page on this chapter of my life I just want to say Thank You. Thank You for telling me that you wanted a divorce it really was the best thing you have ever done for me. An established blogger, writer and business owner raising 4 children independently. Kirsty is determined to succeed in this new life forced upon her. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Anger that when I would look into your eyes I would see a stranger.
All the best the ex-Wife.Getting over someone who left you pregnant? It's just that. I know I'm not the only one this has happened to. I am self supporting, and the fact of the matter is, is that this guy would be a bigger drain on me, than a help. We were barely in the beginning stage of seeing each other and I found out I was pregnant. He told me he can't be with me because he doesn't want to end up hurting me.
I'm ok with that. Just yesterday he told me he "loved me" again, and said he'd be over to talk about the baby, and get updated. I was fine with that, it made me happy. It wasn't even two hours later he public announces he's in "a relationship" with a girl he met just recently. They don't even know each other. It's like he's "in a relationship" to make someone mad, but that someone isn't me.
I have no social networking site, so I know it has nothing to do with me.
I guess I just need some advice. I know I don't need him, but why in the heck am I letting someone bother me so bad? He doesn't deserve my mind space, so how do I get over it? Add: This looks like it's in the "dating" section, I am new to this site, so bear with me please.
If i were you, i would cut all contact with him, though it's a horrible thing to do, still i could try to understand him leaving you because of the pregnancy thing but still getting in touch with you and making your mind busy with himself is unacceptable. So, first step, no more contact. I would like to know your age and how many months it's been since you're pregnant'cuz you know, you can always go outside and hang out with your friends.
You can get new new hobbies that you will enjoy, meet new people, keep your mind busy with other things. I'm 28, and 5 months pregnant today.
The father to be is It would be a lot easier to get it if he would leave me alone. Anyway, I blocked his through my phone provider and have no form of social networking except this site.